Hollywood has the best moral compass, because it has compassion. We were the people who did the fundraising telethon for the victims of 9/11. We were there for the victims of Katrina and any world catastrophe. – Harvey Weinstein

This blog already opined on the Polanski issue over a year ago, yet Hollywood’s ability to support the wrong ideas is constant amusement. Rather than admit that they are not Harvey Weinstein’s moral compass for the nation, they would rather defend a child rapist (as if giving wine and half a Quaalude to a 13 year old weren’t bad enough). The people who signed the free Roman petition have surely hitched their wagons to a cause that will bring them down, for the issue will remain cable news fodder for years as the case winds its way through endless hearings. Still, it does not take an expert to know that in Hollywood, no tragedy goes unexploited; Shout Bits is pleased to offer some free PR advice to the other Hollywood: San Fernando, A.K.A. Porno Valley.

Shout Bits suggests that the various bigwigs of adult film, whose names are probably no less irrelevant to Middle America than those of Hollywood, come out against Polanski’s confessed crime. As a mirror image to the SACD pro-Polanski petition, they should call for Polanski’s extradition and a full hearing of the issue in California that protects his rights as a defendant. Aside from being a deliciously amusing PR stunt that the cable news outlets could never ignore, the petition would spotlight Hollywood’s indefensible stance. Even pornographers would have a better moral compass than Hollywood.

Of course the social standing of San Fernando would not really climb to the level of household conversation, but the PR stunt could take Hollywood down a notch. Hollywood absurdly portrays itself as America’s moral standard. George Clooney ignored Jack Benny’s Rochester in favor of Hattie McDaniel when he claimed the civil rights high ground for Hollywood during a fake awards ceremony. Weinstein thinks a few telethons supporting unassailable causes make up for a culture of elitist isolation from any sort of reality. Any number of Hollywood’s elite preaches communal sacrifice for the environment from their mansions and private jets. The porno-petition would force an evaluation of how anyone could realistically find valuable guidance from a group that can’t put down its champagne glasses long enough to condemn Polanski.

So, silicon implant customers of the world, Hollywood has pitched you meat on a plate. Why not step up and take advantage of your preening cousins over the hill? Sign the petition and force Hollywood to explain how they lost their moral high ground to the people they rarely deign to even acknowledge.